Build Lasting Success by Choosing Momentum Over Speed

I worked with a client recently who has a very strong and persistent inner critic. Sometimes he feels like giving up because he believes he is in a losing battle - what's the point in trying if he's ultimately going to fail? He sometimes apologies for expressing this to me as he imagines it's 'not what I want to hear' (obviously he's working with a coach because he does want to succeed on some level and he doesn't want to let me down as well as himself). Anyway, I actually get excited when he shares how hopeless he feels ...

There's a well-known quote:

"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure that you seek."

The clients who struggle to get results are the ones who don't let themselves express their fears and so they don't let their block become a gateway. They push it down and push it away, instead of acknowledging it and learning how to step around it. They end up pushing (or dragging) that thing uphill with them.

When this client shared his in-the-moment-truth about fearing he would fail, it was very tender. I felt empathy and compassion. I saw myself in him and the parts of me that are fearful. I felt sadness for all the years and occasions when he'd believed he would never succeed (it was often in moments of outward success that keeping going felt most pointless). I felt the grief for his loss of joy, of appreciation and enjoyment of his own life.

I acknowledged all of this and watched him shift as other parts of him were validated... and then... there was little more space for something new. From here we moved towards the thoughts and actions that do support his success. We went slowly.

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I often work with people who have created a lot and sadly struggle to enjoy it - whether it's a business, a creative career or a family, they are stuck in striving and pushing. They often judge themselves harshly and it keeps them stuck.

I meet some amazing people in my work. I have the immense privilege of sitting alongside them as they share their deepest truths about what has shaped them and what inspires them. I wish everyone could be met with true compassion for what has shaped them and real hope for what inspires them.

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At the end of the conversation with this particular client, hope is what he was left with. Hope that he won't always be dominated by his inner critic, hope that his success isn't fleeting or flimsy, he can build on it, enjoy it and trust it.

That hope feels good to him. It's grounded in possibility and in reality.His inner critic dismisses hype but doesn't argue with reality.

I don't offer a miracle (although I know they are possible for him, and you). I find that wishing for a miracle can be a wish for speed that makes us impatient. This stops us taking the small steps and enjoying the pleasure they offer. I have also found that when success does come, if it's thick and fast then the nervous system can be overwhelmed.

I offer momentum and often it starts small. I offer him a chance to feel hope, joy, appreciation in small micro-doses that compound.

Momentum might start slowly but it builds and creates miracles over very short periods of time. I'm excited for what is coming his way as he continues on the Unlock Your Flow programme.

Unlock Your Flow - is the process that builds momentum. If you are ready to trust that you deserve the life you want, maybe this is the time to come and learn the daily steps that will get you there. Check it out and please ask if you have any questions.